So this list - like all lists - are pretty random, but I wanted to keep it in the timeline of what happened these past two weeks. Anything and everything.
please be forwarned: this post is done sober…so sorry?
1. Don’t be that guy. It happens. Two Friday’s ago, really horrible night. I honestly DON’T want to talk about it, but I’ll give you a few pointers. I threw up so fast into and over the toilet. It was disgusting. I literally scooped water out of the toilet boil with a red solo cup to clean up the mess I made. So glad Kelly took care of me. Goodbye alcohol - forever?
2. My abnormal psychology class is roughly 35 girls and 5 dudes. My TA is pretty smokin to. ADPi btw. Is psychology that feminine of a study?
3. What’s my opinion on energy drinks? I don’t take them. Well actually, I took redbull once. They sort of do give you wings.
4. Finding out that I wouldn’t be able to room with my closest friend here was probably my biggest complaint of the past two weeks. Jay came and told me the situation. Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal. We would see each other on campus still, and make arrangements. It’s not like we are going to different colleges. And I felt like a hypocrite, I left everyone back home. But anyway, everything sort of spilt and I ended up crying with Jay next to me in the library. Maybe it was a little embarrassing. But I just felt so…gay.
5. Hardest academic week of my life. Honestly, it was just hard. Can’t believe I was a little ignant ninja my sophomore year complaining about WHAP. SO STRESSFUL. Completely unbelievable.
6. OK heres actual information that’s useful. Unless you ENJOY studying and doing homework all day, you shouldn’t necessarily base your major off the classes you take. Honestly, who the fuck wants to be an engineer because that person LOVEs doing physics or math? Like honestly, you take these courses because you have to / they are helpful. I don’t really think anyone should be so certain about their major as a freshman, much less a high school stud[ent] matriculating into college. You should have something outside of school that you enjoy. That enjoyment should dictate your major.
7. OK. I’m guilty. I went to Nordstrom last week. I bought a pair of Sperrys. Yes, dem boat shoes. but I PROMISE. I’ll RARELY wear them. LIKE…never. I bought the light colored ones. $100 btw.
8. What a fucking week for hoops. Like real talk ninja, all we do is lin lin lin, I’m going linsane at this rate. Harvard and the NBA. that’s the dream. But anyway…
9. Austin mutha fucking RIVERS. Crazy night, had fireworks, camera people, a helicopter all on campus. Pretty much everyone getting shitfaced. Moshpit when the players got back. It’s crazy. Kinda wish that was how high school soccer was.
10. Mutha fucking donuts, ninja. I havent eaten any in like…months.
11. When I’m desperate (not for chicks, but for like not being a failure) I look at my Pre poster: “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”
12. I’ve been sick the past two weeks. All the AEPi pledgees in my hallway got me horribly sick.
13. Why is it that you want to cuddle when you’re sick? Or is it just me?
14. This is completely random. So there’s this guy - Jack - he’s an international student from China. I met him last semester. He has big dreams. He wants to graduate a year early (There’s honestly no practicality in that, but he’s older than us. He’s like 21.) He’s an ECE and Math double major…. Anyway, he helps me in engineering a lot. like im fucking stupid and shit, but he still has my back in engineering. He’s tolerable. Doesn’t judge. Always willing to give a helping hand. I remember saying I understood something. I said “okay okay, I got it”. But he read me easily and said “its okay. I can explain again”. Wow, that’s just like indescribable keenness and maturity. And I just sounded really gay. Anyway, I remember him telling me about how he had a girlfriend back at home who attends the 3rd best chinese university. He showed me pictures of her, and honestly, they were a happy couple. Like i know bitches be breaking up when high school is over. but their relationship epitomizes long distance relationships. I remember this one time that I was getting help from him while he was talking to his girlfriend over the phone (yes he put down the phone to help me). He just really cared about her a lot. like her wellbeing. Like., theyre getting married.
15. All that shit was in chinese, til he said. “bai bai”. I dunno if its because FOBs sound like little kids when they try to speak english, but anyhow, it made me think a little bit. Like despite the fact that you may be arguing with your hos. Like even though you mightve slept with a dirty ass bitch (u were drunk last night), or had a shitty ass phone conversation, you should probably say “bye” with some regard to whom they are. Like honestly, I dunno where I’m getting at, but I find it hard to say “bye” to people…except probs my mom. I dunno. It just means a lot.
16. It’s getting pretty late, and I know this was an uneventful post. but I just wanted to say after a REALLY intensely stressful week, (this saying is trite) the little things really do matter a lot.
It’s too easy to get lost in the thought of failure or success. It’s too easy to get lost in the idea that you have to impress people with what you do. To put into concrete details, you aren’t going to impress anyone in college by making bank or getting good test scores. Well maybe a little. you might impress me a little if I knew you were a millionaire. For instance, If I went to UT I might still be stuck on the idea that ‘success’ is the way to go. Linear thinking. Thinking like an asian. But here, you aint going to impress people with your athletic ability, your smarts, or your ideas. This is an elitist community thriving with millionaires, olympic athletes (including austin rivers), and rhode scholars.
But I might be able to say, for the first time in a while. I’ve been humbled. Not by the frat boys who have the biggest dicks on campus and who pull all the babes, but by those millionaires, olympians, and rhode scholars who - despite the fact of already being extremely ‘successful’ - are humble and hardworking. sometimes you gotta keep your head low.
And to conclude, I digress. What are the little things in life to me? Going on runs around campus (praise the lord[s] that I have a good pair of legs), having dinner with friends (always the best), having a penis so I can whack off (and lotion for that matter), phone calls / texts with friends and etc back at home, Just like a sunny day outside, and VERY IMPORTANT, having someone who can take care of you when you’re not in the right state of mind (drunk) means a LOT.
So college (especially duke) may be all about success and whatever the fucks, but this week has taught me that a little hesitation is good (cant believe that Im admitting this). you just may be aware of the little things, of the simple life you really do have.